"I know God is able to gives us victory over all our struggles and Jared Pingleton does a great job in describing what he is doing to help all ministers."

The Struggle Is Real: HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!

JARED PINGLETON, Psy.D. 
Every pastor dreads handling that chilling suicidal emergency phone call at 2 a.m. Likewise, it is far beyond most leaders’ comfort zones to confront the secretive affair between members of the worship team, deal with a chronic alcoholic, intervene in an abusive family situation, or cope with a seriously depressed parishioner. These and similar personal ministry challenges can be highly stressful, frustrating and cumulatively overwhelming to any shepherd. 
There have always been people with mental and relational health problems in the Church. It’s just that, historically, we haven’t properly trained and equipped pastors to recognize, and minister effectively to, these needs. Bible schools and seminaries generally do a good job of teaching hermeneutics, exegetics, systematic theology and homiletics. Yet pastoral training programs seldom provide specialized instruction regarding the day in, day out demands of practical require major, labor-intensive investments of time, effort and attention, which consume disproportionate shares of precious and limited church resources. Consequently and tragically, many pressing human needs are never adequately addressed, and others are ignored altogether. 
Scope of the Struggle 
Contrary to much implicit — and some explicit — teaching and preaching, just because we are Christians does not mean we are immune to adversity, anguish and afflictions. The pain, pace and pressures of modern living have taken over countless lives. People are hurting in virtually epidemic numbers. Consider these statistics from the National Institute for Mental Health, the National Domestic Violence Hotline and other agencies regarding many of the major mental and relational health issues in the U.S.: 
ministry to hurting people and broken relationships. 
‘‘There have always been people with mental and relational health problems in the Church. It’s just that, historically, we haven’t properly trained and equipped pastors to recognize, and minister effectively to, these needs.’
20–25% of adults suffer from a diagnosable mental illness in any given year; 50% in their lifetime
14–20% of children and adolescents suffer from a mental, emotional or behavioral disorder 
20–25% of the population meet criteria for alcohol use disorder
60–80% of adolescent and adult males, and 40–60% of females, use pornography on a regular basis 
25% of women have had at least one abortion (an issue that affects the mental health of both women and men)
5–10% of the population abuse prescription medications 64,000 people died from opioid overdose in 2016 — 175 per day, on average 
About 117 people commit suicide every day (one every 13 minutes)
More than 40% of all marriages end in divorce
In 2015, 48% of all live births were to unwed parents 
1 in 3 girls, and as many as 1 in 4 boys, are sexually abused before age 18
1 in 5 women will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime Only 33% of children will reach age 18 in a household with both biological parents 
Over 30 million people suffer from eating disorders, and someone dies from an eating disorder every hour
Nearly 2,000 children are abused and/or neglected every day, in addition to adult elderly and disabled persons who suffer abuse and neglect 
1 in 6 couples is infertile, 1 in 6 pregnancies miscarry, 
TO PASTOR EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED PEOPLE 
and most couples never adequately grieve or even discuss 
those losses 
24 people per minute are victims of domestic violence by an 
intimate partner — with children witnessing 22% of these incidents — and domestic violence is the leading cause of physical injury to women 
Sadly, many people who face these challenges never receive treatment. There is also evidence that many mental and relational health issues are as common among church people as they are among the general population. The individual and cumulative pain these realities represent is staggering. The struggle is real indeed. 
Sources of the Struggle 
As discouraging and overwhelming as these statistics can be, we should recognize the struggles around us as potential growth opportunities and redemptive ministry assignments that can reveal and demonstrate God’s love, grace, mercy and transformational power. 
To gain a proper perspective,
we need to understand more
about what’s going on beneath
the surface. While a full analysis
of each of these issues is beyond the scope of this article, we can identify five general sources of pain, pathos and pathology. 
1. Biochemistry and genetics. Just as predispositions to physi- cal maladies — like diabetes, myopia, hypertension, cardiac dis- ease and some cancers — can result in generational transmission of those health concerns, many brain and mental disorders have a genetic component. Certain inherited neurochemical factors often play a primary role in mental health conditions. While some of these disorders can be treated by appropriate medications, many cannot. Still others are difficult to diagnose precisely. 
Conditions such as bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and some forms of chronic depression are best addressed utilizing a com- bination of counseling, medication and loving support in specific groups and from a healthy church community. 
2. Environmental influences. King Solomon insightfully coun- seled that a person gains wisdom as a result of hanging around wise people but suffers harm when consorting with fools (Prov- erbs 13:20). The apostle Paul observed that bad company cor- rupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33). And God warned 
Moses that the sins of parents can have consequences for their children (Exodus 20:5). 
Unhealthy patterns of behavior often filter down multi-gen- erationally and become self-perpetuating and maladaptive. The actions of parents and guardians can deeply affect the children in their care. Children’s workers and youth pastors have only one or two hours per week to try to reverse and redeem the effects of the toxic environments many kids are in the rest of the week. 
A plethora of clinical research verifies the common-sense reality that children of divorced parents are themselves more likely to divorce, most pedophiles were themselves molested as children, kids who grow up around gangs tend to engage in high- er-than-average levels of antisocial activity, etc. Our environ- ments rub off on us. 
3. Faulty learning. Dysfunctional family systems generate their own unique sets of issues and problems. Family relationships comprise the contextual framework within which children orininally learn who, what and how they are. Children in single-parent homes suf- fer from the absence of the other parent, and typically internalize a sense of false guilt for the abandonment and rejection they feel, which results in low self-esteem and insecurity. Children raised around substance abuse tend to develop codependent personalities and maladaptive coping styles, thus subconsciously seeking out people with those similarly unstable and unhealthy but familiar dynamics (Proverbs 26:11; 2 Peter 2:22). Many sexually abused children grow up with damaged identities and become promiscuous; since sexual contact was the primary way they received attention, they may falsely believe that is all they are good for. 
4. Traumatic experiences. Trauma can leave an enduring neu- rological imprint upon us and literally alter our brain chemistry, identities and relationships. Combat-related experiences, grue- some accidents, horrific assaults and a multitude of other events suffered in our fallen world can create an unexpected-yet-devas- tating impact on one’s soul and interpersonal relationships, often leaving permanent scars — both visible and invisible. 
5. The Fall. Last but certainly not least, we all have a sin prob- lem (Romans 3:23; James 4:1). And sin kills — individually and collectively, literally and figuratively — though not necessarily.Mental